Fair enough. I will do what I can to help, but may not collect the confidence to do this in Kamailio, at least not without backup from a core developer.

I have started some tooling to measure these problems, available here.

My observation that veth ethernet pairs (on Linux) could work around the problem is now falsified.
My next hope is to use SO_REUSEADDR or SO_REUSEPORT to open a secondary socket with a lower MTU, and fallback on that for resends.

I will continue to do these experiments outside of Kamailio, to avoid its complexity. If this works, it is most likely after integration with immediate resends.

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